How strong a will can be
by Rivki
Summary: Butch Cavendish/OC placed in a different context.
1. Unforgiven

_Why do I keep provoking him like that_, I wonder as I crawl underneath the bedsheets**.**

A familiar feeling is starting to overpower me, the feeling I always seem to get when I know I just cant stand up for myself. The nights here are endless without him, I'm not even sure why I long for him that much. I cant seem to get any sleep at all.

A cold breeze coming from the window strolls trough the room, caressing against my uncovered skin

_Should I really trust him? I mean is he really going to be a master I can love? __Thinking about surrendering myself to him makes me feel comfortable, maybe I should open my heart to it, give my will to him._

_I'm just scared I won't be enough for him. It may sound egocentric but picturing him with another womanbeing would devastate me._

After rolling over a few times I get up from my resting spot and move towards the open door that leads to the bathroom. I still cant face myself standing there in that mirror, but there's no hiding from it. It seems my eyes are just forced to look at that oversized, circular thing.

Just like the rest of my body when it comes to having a master. It controls you, makes you feel like nothing. Maybe that's why I have to see myself like this, so I can be reminded of the horrible creature that I've become.

_The only reason I'd rather rot in that hellhole is because I'm afraid of failing him. __Just look at the life he offers me, it all seems too damn perfect._

_If you doubt yourself Rivki, you should make yourself proud, Cavendish will be here tomorrowmorning and he'll expect a decision from you__. __Just make sure he'll gets something real good in return, maybe one day he'll love you, right?_

I was never good at convincing myself to put effort into anything without a certain result. But I couldn't deny I had a good feeling about master Cavendish.

_Now get some sleep Rivki, we'll get up early and fix you, I promise._

As expected I woke up the next day only to find myself covered in negativity again. There was no way I would continue my previous plan. I smelled like a filthy dog, and probably looked like one too. As soon as Cavendish entered the room it was also the first thing he noticed.

I was laying uncovered on the bed, face down.

**Well now, seems like you haven't been taking much care of yourself... **his voice was as stern as ever. He noticed me being absent minded so he continued: **Have you made your decision yet or should I consider this an insult? **

I was hoping he'd actually reply to that question himself, because I wasn't going to answer it. At this point I couldn't care less for my wellbeing, a few beatings would not make a large difference. So I remained silent, maybe I was just testing him although I knew what he was capable of.

**Maybe I should eat your other ear too, cause you still don't seem to listen to me anyway now, do you? **He let out a sigh as he went to sit next to me on the bed, and I felt that fear again, I got quite addicted to it in the past few years.

He took out his knife and held it against the side of my face, removing a piece of hair that was trying to protect my left ear.

I backed away but he pulled me back before I even had the chance to get out of bed.

Now pinning me down he told me to stay in this position, then he stood up and walked towards the bathroom.

The sound of splashing water coming from the water tap made me shiver.

Not so long ago I used to enjoy taking a bath, but right now it only reminds me of my first owner.

**Get over here. **Butch commanded. I heard him unzip his pants and by the time I pulled myself together he stood there naked it front of me. I felt like a shy little girl, however I hated the thought of being one.

The water felt nice and warm, like a soft blanket covering me. He was sitting opposite from me and my skinny deformed legs were crossing his.

_He had been merciful with me, why don't you just return the favour Riv? _

_I'm afraid, what should I even do?_

We've been holding a staring contest for over 4min now when I came to realize how terribly attractive this man is. I felt an urge to get in full contact with him, but I didn't dare to move a muscle, not knowing what he was actually expecting from me.

He finally broke the silence: **Wash yourself.** a quite simple command but the way he said it was like a thousand lightningbolts striking my heart at once, the energy flowing trough my body was uncontainable.

I grabbed a piece of soap and rubbed it between my hands to make it foamy.

The soap made contact with the side of my face and I started working my way down until I arrived at my private spot. I looked at him in embarrassment, but I knew there was no escaping from it. He assisted my hand in making back-and-forth-movements, but finally left the job over to me. **Make sure that spot is clean, who knows who you've been fucking in the past days anyway. **He said with a smirk on his face.

_I haven't been fucking anyone _I thought to myself _I never fuck anyone, its not like I have a choice. _Butch noticed tears welling up in my eyes, but he only told me not to stop rubbing the soap between my thighs.

After continuing this for at least 2 minutes I placed the soap on the edge and placed my hand down my pussy, shoving in 2 fingers to clean the inside.

I saw his cock was getting really stiff by now. I felt proud of myself for doing a good job on pleasing my future master, ufcours I had made my choice: I would definitely want him to take care for me. He pulled me down over his lap. The bathtub was too small to place my legs sideways from him, so they were folded as I was sitting in this position. **Now wash me**. I felt my nerves welling up again, I reached out for the soap but he said I should use my mouth instead. I backed away a little and took a hold on his manhood, rubbing his foreskin back and forth over the head of his cock. _I want it, my body I'm ready for it_ _master. _I placed my lips around the head and I ran my tongue up the length of his shaft and went as far as I could.

_I love you master I do, plz… plz take me._

**You seem to really like it huh? "**Master"… I replied: "I've made my decision, I will give myself to you" the words rolled over my tongue without hesitation "I'm yours and I will do my best to make you happy, was just scared, I didn…." He interrupted me by placing his finger over his mouth and then took the showerhead.

After us both getting out of the tub he pulled me over the edge, forcing me on my knees.

**This is what you've been waiting for isn't it? You want it?** "Yes, I want it master! I want it so bad!" I screamed in overexcitement. Butch was surely surprised, yet amused by that response.

**Well…** **I'll be damned, looks like training you will be easy for the both of us.**

He got on his knees and I felt his hard dick pressing against my pussy.

I let out a moan when he pushed it fully in.

_it hurts, it still hurts and I'm soaking wet down there. I must be too damn nervous._

_But I like it, I like it when he stretches my pussy like that, It feels… so …. Good…_

After a few more minutes my muscles were fully relaxed again and the pain turned in to pure pleasure. His hand took grip around my neck as he started to push it in faster and harder.

_This feels much better then I've ever imagined. it's so intense._

After some time I noticed that his breath went quicker, as he pinched his hand tighter around my neck.

_Yes master plz fill me up, I want your cum inside of me, all of it! _

**Ah! Fuck! **He groaned.I and felt a warm trickle of sperm flowing down from my legs.

My body was shivering of the treatment it had just received.

"thank you master" I obsequiously said to him . "thank you so much…"

He pulled out of me and gave me a gentle pet on my head. Then he cleaned his cock with a tissue and left the bathroom, leaving the door gaping open.

My body was still in the same position and my head was hanging down the tub.

_You did good Rivki, I'm proud of you__.._

I looked up only to see myself in the mirror again, but this time I didn't care about the whore reflecting at me. I was wanted, wasn't I? that was all the confirmation I needed for myself.

I got back up on my feet and walked in the bedroom to find Butch laying on the bed.

I turned off the lights and crawled underneath the sheets, placing my body has close to his warm skin as I could.

He turned to me and stared intensely into my eyes, like he was wondering why I acted this way.

'goodnight master I said" I chocked when I felt something clamb around my waist but it was just his arm embracing me. It felt like he wanted to make a statement:

I was his pet from now on.

I was his and his alone.


	2. who is wrong, what is right (?)

How strong a will can be. When we can't handle it anymore we make up lies only to survive a little longer. My life had no purpose for 5 years except for pleasing my masters … I'm good with that.

Cavendish already left the room when I woke up; but the spot he had been laying was still warm so I rolled over and let my body fully cover it.

_It's so nice when no-one wakes you up early in the morning, I don't ever want to get out of bed_.

I closed my eyes again and slept for another hour.

I heard footsteps down the hallway. Butch entered the room with a variation of objects in his hand, not just everyday objects but the ones they would use for torture-purposes. One of them was a dogcollar which he secured around my neck and forced me to lie on the mattress, kneeling behind me.

"**Can you breath?" **He asked. "Yes master, I replied" "**Good." **and he tired the rope tighter around my neck. This left me gasping for air.

"**Look how bad you want me" **He took my hand and placed it on his pants, so I could feel his member underneath it.

"**you want it don't you?"** "Yes, master" I managed to say, thinking that would be the right answer to give in this situation.

"**very good. you'll be getting a lot of it today" **Butch was clearly enjoying himself.

He rolled me over and cuffed my hands together behind my back.

I felt his hand caressing against my pussy, but I already knew he wouldn't go easy on me this time. Tears welled up again as he harshly tried to push his fist inside of me. It was to much for my body to take, I screamed trying to let out most of the pain.

_It hurts, I can't think. I hate screaming, I really hate it but I have to, I'm sorry… _

_I'm weak …. _

"**This won't work"**, he said in frustration, lifting my ass up and spitting a few times inside my vagina. He now continued molesting my painful inside.

"**There that's better" **My body was now shivering as his hand was fully inside of me.

It didn't stop there. He pulled me up and let my body lean against his chest, I let my neck hang over his shoulder as his arm went deeper inside.

"Plz stop STOP! I can't take this, it's too much plz.. plz …mercy!"

For a moment I hoped he had responded to my wailing because left me lying there for a while. But he was only preparing the next step in his tortureplan.

_It's true, things like yesterday, I just don't deserve them. I don't deserve him to love me, he can't and he will never love me._

_I can't breathe…_

I pressed my head inside the pillow, making all kinds of, what I would call, weird noises hoping it would help me handle this situation just a little bit better.

Butch didn't talk to me, I just hoped he would comfort me instead of continuing this hurtful treatment.

He took out the whip he had been carrying around his waist and let it slide down my back to warn me of what would come.

For some reason a whip has always been my torture-object of choice, Mainly because it takes time to heal, but the healing process itself is rather comforting and it's still different from a cut or burn, that is if the punishment was deserved ufcours.

He stood up to swing the whip around so it would make a greater impact when hitting my bare skin.

He hit my a few times on my arms and back, and it didn't take long before I felt trickles of blood flowing down.

I couldn't bring out a single sound, the pain was just overwhelming me.

Butch took a moment to reflect at his work.

Not entirely satisfied he took out his bottle of whisky, took a sip and spilled the rest over my back. It stinged like hell.

_I don't want anymore, I know it's not what I want but please… I just don't want anymore!_

Butch groaned as he placed himself on top of me, playfully biting my remaining ear.

It was as if my pussy suddenly became numb.

What I did feel where his balls slapping against my thighs, combined with his perfect body pressure it felt rather relaxing.

After a few minutes my body again became aware of the cruel things it had been enduring for the past hour.

In contrast to what happened yesterday I had no pleasure at all in receiving any of this.

"**Get up and clean my cock" **he said after he came inside of me.

Butch uncuffed me and gently petted me as I tried my best to obey his command but my body had become to weak.

_He petted you Rivki. he loves you, see? I told you… you don't have to worry, don't get stressed.. you can handle it, you can handle anything, can you hear me?_

_Don't you dare giving in yet, you hear me. You filthy whore, pull yourself together!_

_RIVKI! _

I felt a my head spinning in all directions as I became unconscious…


	3. Ignoration

The days that followed left me basically imprisoned in my own bed.

Alltough I knew it was not MY bed, I liked to pretend I owned it, just to create a private space in this inferno of emotions that encompassed my current life.

Butch knew he had gone too far, but I couldn't help but wondering if this man actually could feel sorry for me. For the short time I knew him before all of this, I saw him as a rather apathetic individual. Maybe even evil.

I have no connection with him at all, like our inner energies are from a whole other level.

I would be lying (and believe me I'm good at that) if I would tell you I didn't long for him to comfort me. This need had become really strong in the past few days. Cavendish hasn't said a word to me after what happened, he hasn't even been around.

Just bringing me some leftovers from his meal. Not that I'm complaining about it. They used to cook for me but since I have a small appetite this often lead to conflicts when I couldn't finish my meal, making me feel unthankful.

I can still feel the stinging pain on the back of my body. My will has been weak. I felt like I failed myself, but afterwards I believed that fainting was the best thing that could have happened to me. Even now I feel traumatized, imagine what my condition would have been if I didn't lost my consciousness…

_Why does he have to ignore me like this? He can't expect my to start a conversation, can he? What if he's mad at me for some reason? After all my faint interrupted him from his further molesting of my body. Or maybe he actually finds this punishment satisfying enough for the whole week. _

A few more hours have passed and I had become really thirsty. Since Butch had left the bathroomdoor locked last time he came in I had to do something, so I started to produce random sounds which started to sound familiar to dogbarking after a while. I continued this for at least 15 minutes when he finally responded to my calling.

I heard the door unlock and the blackcoated man entered and pulled my arm down.

"**If you bark like a dog you're gonna behave like one. You can start by walking on all fours."**

"Plz master I'm just thirsty, I don't know what I'm doing." I yelled out.

**Oh Shut your mouth, dog. All I want to hear from you is barking, now get your ass downstairs", **Butch commanded.

On my hands and knees I crawled trough the hallway followed by my master who kicked me in the stomach and told me to walk faster.

Walking the stairs like this was hell, and I tried my best to get down as fast as I could going down sideways.

After finally making my way down the kitchen, Cavendish offered me a bowl of water which he placed in front of me on the floor, then he took the only chair in the room and sat down.

With little sips I took it in. From the corner of my eye I saw him staring at me.

"**You know dog, you kinda turned me on when I heard you howling like that, now yelp for me"**

_Oww, I know what will come next… just not now please, and not like this.. I just wanted something to drink… _

I know arguing would be no use so I sat up in the most dog-like position I could think of and barked for my master, silent and diffident.

But Cavendish sounded unpleased. **"That's not the way you barked before. Howl like you want me whore!" **

"Please master, I can't do it, I don't feel like it. please understand" I begged him.

"**You should listen to me when I'm talking to you." **He was obviously getting irritated. **"I told you I only wanted to hear barking coming from your mouth!"**

"**If** **you refuse to obey me again I'll make what happened before feel like a warm-up, you hear me?" **I turned my head in shame, I couldn't bare to look at him at this point.

What kind of future can I have if I feed on my own agony? It's true, this feeling of numbness is all I know, it gives me my place. I could never lead a normal life even if I had the chance. you could say I'm too fucked in the head for that. It's shame that makes me who I am and no matter how hard you'll try you'll find absolutely no sign of selfrespect on me. It never was there in the first place.

Also, I can't kill myself because I believe in the afterlife, and a final judgement for when we die, I know I will never die as a good person. I just hope to die strong by enduring this pain until that specific day.

"**I'm going to punish you for ruining this moment" **He grabbed me by my neck and forced me over the kitchensink. "**How long has it been since you took a bath? Bark the days!" **I opened my mouth and bark-wailed 6 times. "**I'm gonna clean your mouth and you're gonna go upstairs and clean the rest right after this, understood?" "**Arf" I managed to bring out.

Butch took out a piece of soap and pushed it against my lips, I reluctantly opened my mouth as he forced it inside, rubbing it all over my tongue.

_This is disgusting, and it's going too deep inside my throat! I need to puke…_

Butch had pressed my body between his and the kitchencounter making my hips starting to hurt because of it. But for some reason it felt good not being able to get away from this position. I liked the feeling of his body pressed against my legs.

After receiving my mouthwashing I hurried upstairs only to find the bathroomdoor still being locked.

With the taste of soap still present in my mouth I started yelping as loud as I could.

It seemed my hope of just being able to take a nice bath without any further torturing had become reality. He just left me there being able to let my body get fully relaxed in the bathtub. It really felt like it needed it, the warmth…

I didn't rinse my mouth because I felt like I had deserved his punishment and still would do anything to do better for my master.

The night has fallen and I find myself sitting on the bed facing the door, I had really hoped he would have decided to sleep here with me tonight. Thoughts of him gently rubbing my back started to well up as I tried to forget the pain he had put me trough.

_I love this man so much… _


End file.
